The guy in the red shirt

Okay, so Tshepo had been drinking. But he’s more of a funny drunk than an obnoxious one. I actually quite like him like that. It brings him out of his shell.
He’s on that TV show, and it’s weird, but somehow that makes him a bit shy when he goes out in public. He gets that whole, “Please don’t let them spot me” thing going. Like if someone recognises him he’s going to get mobbed and we’ll be trapped in Cats Pyjamas signing autographs for an hour.
He’s only a host! They can’t even get a studio audience for that show, coz no one could be bothered. They have to use canned applause!
Tshepo just needs to chill on the stardom vibe. Even if someone spots him, they’re usually just, “Oh, there’s that guy from TV,” to themselves and then they ignore him.
When he gets a buzz going, he goes back to being the old Tshepo, though. Funny little comments, good conversation and that little dance that he does. Kind of an Egyptian one, with his hands out sideways.
He was doing that dance when it happened. We were talking about the MTV Base concert, and he stood up from the table to show us how he was dancing. And as he got up, he knocked this guy at the table behind us.
And the guy totally overreacts. Some guy in a red shirt. Maybe Tshepo spilled his drink or something, but still. He gets up and shoves Tshepo so he goes sprawling all over the floor. We all stand up, and the guy’s mates also stand up, but you can see they’re just as surprised as we are. They all coloured guys, and going, like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa…”
But their mate doesn’t give them a chance to calm him down. As Tshepo starts getting to his feet, the guy punches him in the head. Then as he falls, he kicks him in the gut, and punches him one more time.
By this time the guy’s mates are there already, pulling him off Tshepo, who looks like he’s passed out by this stage.
We all scramble to get at this guy, but we’re kind of hemmed in by chairs and tables and we’re bumping into each other. They guy just tunes us poes, and bails down the stairs.
Thami and Mike ran down the stairs after him, so I stayed upstairs with the girls. The waiter wouldn’t let us leave, anyway.
The guy had quite a lead on them, so I ran to the balcony to see what was going to happen. I was right above the exit on Melville Main Road. I had a perfect view.
There were a couple of people standing around outside Cats and I saw his red shirt come bursting through them, knocking one of them over. He charged across Main Road, almost getting knocked over by a truck. There was a whole lot of traffic backed up behind the truck, so Mike and Thami had to wait before they could cross.
That gave the guy time to get to his car, a red Golf, that was parked just outside the First National ATM.
You could see he was panicking. He dropped his keys twice before he managed to open the door. Then he jumped into the driver’s seat and started revving the car like mad. He knew Thami and Mike would be across the road the minute there was a break in the traffic…
People were already screaming at him from our side of the street. Then I noticed this girl coming up the road. Dressed all in black, and stumbling, like she had heavy boots on. She looked wasted.
She was looking in her bag for something, and walking across the road at the same time. She stepped into Main Road just as the first break in the traffic came…
The guy reversed out of his parking, slammed the Golf into gear and screamed off just as Mike and Thami got to his car. I’m sure I heard their fingernails scraping along his paintwork as he screamed off…
Right into this girl crossing the street. I screamed, “Watch out!” but he must have hit her doing about 60. She smacked into his windscreen in a sitting position and flew about ten metres into Main Road.
The guy had to stop then, and there were people all around his car within seconds. A cop car pulled up immediately. I ran downstairs then to see if the girl was alive.
As I got to her, she was conscious, at least. She said her name was Beth.
“Are you the driver, sir?” I heard the cop ask the guy in the red behind me. “Have you been drinking tonight?”