Cupid scores a free meal at the Rock ’n’ Roll Diner

The Saint Stithians under-13A team played Cupid. A bunch of tiny lighties who could barely kick the ball over from the 22. They were 18 flyweight grade-eights who lost a rugby game every Saturday for two months, but the one thing they had was character.
Shaun was a Saints old boy, so when his mate Dave said he was volunteering to coach an under-14 rugby team, he thought why the hell not. It was the cricket off-season, so he had weekends free, and he honestly hadn’t been back to Saints since he’d matriculated.
In the end Shaun was assigned the under-13s because no one else wanted them. The “A” thing was a bit of a misnomer. It implied there was a B team, when there actually wasn’t. They were just the under-13 team, the younger boys whose 13th birthdays fell during the first half of the year.
It was felt they might get hurt if they played against the more talented older boys, so they were clumped together and entered into the under-14B schools rugby league.
No one seemed to care that most of the working class schools’ U14A teams played in the B league. It was like throwing the lighties to the wolves.
Shaun looked at the fixtures and realised they’d be on a hiding to nothing. He told the guys at the beginning of the season that their only real test would come at the end of the season when they faced the mighty Maritzburg College, who also had an under-13 team.
Until that day arrived, it would be a tough slog, he warned them. And wasn’t it just.
Their first match, against the Highlands North U14Bs was a 42-0 massacre. They spectacularly went down 55-0 to Northcliff High. The 12-5 loss to Sandown High’s U14Bs was celebrated like a win.
He taught them co-operative tackling, where one lightie would slow the ball-carrier down by grabbing his jersey, so that his team-mate could take the guy’s legs and bring him down.
He taught them to play a fast, passing game, similar to Sevens, in the hope that their rabbit-like skills and greater stamina might give them an advantage. But when your opponents are twice your size, tactics are only going to get you so far.
After seven losses and a courageous 8-all draw against Bryanston High, the long-awaited Maritzburg College game arrived. The team’s spirits rose the minute Maritzburg got off the bus. The guys were the same size as them! This was to be a test of skill, not just a physics demonstration.
Maritzburg also played a running game, and the first half was a blur of elusive running, snap passes and tenacious tackling. They came off for half-time oranges tied at 5-all.
Loekie the scrumhalf had a huge bump on his forehead, Khulani the wing had hurt his wrist, but they both were raring to go for the second half. “Just keep recycling the ball,” Shaun told the guys. “If you keep handling well, their defence is going to break down sooner or later. And if you win this for me, I’m taking you all to McDonald’s on Monday.”
And with a minute to go in the match, the Maritzburg defence did break down. After something like nine phases of possession, Khulani went over in the corner and Saints won 10-5.
The poor lighties were so keeshed they could barely walk, but the minute that whistle went they jumped like spring hares. “You were right, sir,” Loekie said. “They couldn’t keep tackling us all day. We’ll see you at the Rock ’n’ Roll McDonald’s on Monday.”
Shaun knew that was as close to a thank you as he was going to get.
That night Shaun went out on a high. He hardly had a drink all night, but he was glowing with pride at what his boys had achieved. If that McDonald’s visit cost him a grand, it would be worth every cent.
He was leaning on the railing on the balcony at Rhapsody’s, just smiling to himself and thinking, “10-5! Yeah!” when Lorna came up to him.
“You look quite pleased with yourself,” she said. “You’ve been smiling all night!”
“Ja. My boys won their rugby game today. They beat Maritzburg College.”
“Well done,” she said. “I’m Lorna. D’you want a drink?”
That drink led to another, and eventually, to this. This weekend, if he survived his bachelor-party hangover, Shaun would be taking Lorna down the aisle.
He was still sure that one rugby game, four years ago, had a lot to do with it. Almost like the Saints under-13As had played Cupid.